A shot of brandy

After leaving Boston for good this morning, I had been home for all of, I don't know, maybe 10 minutes, before I took one look at my huge pile of crap to pack and long list of things to do and felt a surge of overwhelmed anxiety so deep and so intense that I burst into tears. The tears just wouldn't stop.

(Sorry if I'm boring you-- I realize lately that me being a sobbing mess is a recurring blog theme.)

Anyway, my mom came up to me and gave me a huge hug. She held me, stroked my hair, and did all the things a mom is supposed to do when her little girl is crying uncontrollably.

Then she pulled back and looked me square in the eye, and very seriously said, "Do you want a shot of brandy?"

Oh, Mom. <3

The Truth

...Bawling me eyes out.

Today (technically yesterday, whatevs) was my last day in Boston. I didn't do anything too exceptional during the day, because I didn't want to make too big of a fuss. My going away party was last Saturday (SO.MUCH.FUN.), and so I didn't want to create additional unnecessary drama. After all, I am super emotional about this move, and I didn't want to be set off by anything...

So I went out to dinner with some of my closest friends and drank a TON of beer. Like, tons. Specifically, Cambridge Brewing Company has these "towers" of beer, which I like to call beer bongs, but anyway each one holds more than 6 beers, and is huge. Yeah, 7 of us drank 3 of those.... and then we headed for Zuzu!!! We danced, we pranced, we drank some more, we did the funky chicken. (Side note: I saw a guy across the room that I went on a date with my first month here in Boston, and although I couldn't for the life of me remember his name, I was still struck by how everything had come full circle.)

...And then was time to say good bye.

I bawled and bawled and bawled. I don't mean to be such a baby, but man, these are my BEST FRIENDS. I somehow kept it together when Sara and Corey said good bye, because they left early and so I hadn't had time to process the whole thing. But when I went to say good bye to Kirsten, Allison, and Ben at the end of the night, I totally lost it. Yep, me, the crying girl in the night club. Shocking. It all just hit me, you know? It hit me that these were my last moments for a long time with these people who were more to me than just friends. They are my family. They are my entire social life. They make me so happy. And they are the ones who really get me.

...so few people do. I mean, let's me honest. I'm not your average chick.

And as I sit here typing as 2:51am, I am still crying, still so sad, still digesting all these emotions. Of course I know that this move is positive, that I'm going to be fine, and that there are plenty of exciting adventures ahead. I don't doubt it for a minute. But that doesn't make it any easier to look at my favorite people and know that I may not see them for a long time. Months... a year... I have no clue. And of course they will always be my friends. But we will never again have what we have now. It will never be what it is now again. That's just life. It evolves, we change. And change is good, but right now what I have and what I am leaving behind is too good not to sob about.

God, I'm babbling. My point: Thank you to everyone in Boston who has been a part of my life. Thanks to all of my awesome friends, roommates, co-workers, family... thank you all. When I first got here 3.5 years ago I thought I would hate it, and turns out I have found the most solid, awesome, life-long group of friends I have ever found. I am thankful for you all, and want you all to know how much I love you!!! I will miss everyone so much!

Tomorrow (today-- ahhh!!) I leave at 9am to go home to Westport to spend 5 days with my family, and then Thursday my plane leaves for Buenos Aires... here's to adventures, big risks, and following your dreams!!

And to my Boston friends: I'll be back. :-)

Moving Day = My Version of Hell

Oh, man, what a day. I think this has to go down in history as one of the worst.days.ever.

Today was moving day. As in, the day that I moved all my junk (and there is a lot-- I'm a total pack rat!) out of my apartment in Somerville, and into my mom's barn in Westport, to store it while I'm gone. Sounds simple enough, right?

GAH! From the very beginning, it was a shit show. First, my mom got sick and couldn't make it to help me move, thus dropping my entourage of merry movers down to just 2 of us-- my step-dad Bill and me. Then he hit some traffic on his way up, and we got a way late start. Meanwhile, last night I was up until 4:00am packing boxes and finishing up, because as we all know, I leave everything to the last minute, and was totally not ready. Then just 3.5 short hours later I woke up, and Kirsten picked me up at 8:00am to drive me to the Ryder rental truck place out in Stoneham. (Dude, don't ask. It was way cheaper than all the closer rental places.) Side note: thank god for Kirsten.

Anyway, I was able to talk the Ryder guys out of giving me a 15 foot truck, and drove away in a sexy, massive cargo van. Those things are even bigger than I thought!! No, seriously, driving one sounds like a freaking airplane. Vrrrmmmm vrrrmmmmm vrrrrroooommmmmmmmm all day long. Headache!!

Enjoy the visual...


Bill finally showed up, and we spent until about 3:00 loading up the van with all my junk... boxes boxes boxes, coffee table, chairs, more boxes, 3 bicycles... we packed it all in, and somehow it magically fit! Just about perfectly. Then we hopped in, at this point a couple hours behind schedule, and drove the 1.5 hour drive to Westport to unload.

Oh man, so we get there and the driveway is a sheet of ice. And it's a looooong farm town driveway, so this is no small thing. I went skidding up this crazy ice rink of a driveway in my massive vehicle, and barely made it to the barn, where Bill and I unloaded all my junk. Ugh, more heavy lifting, just what we needed. But that was nothing compared to when it came time to pull back out of the driveway...

The driveway was so icy that Bill suggested I cut across the field to the neighbor's lane and go out that way. Well, damn! Caught in a snowy ditch! Grrr... wheels spinning, I'm getting frustrated and panicking that I'm going to be trapped in this field all night when I have about 500 million other things to do!! So Bill is hollering for me to back up! now go forward! now stop! now slow! and I'm panicking and freaking out, and picturing a long night of waiting for a tow truck to haul me out of the neighbor's field. The look on my face must have been priceless. Finally Bill grabs the wheel and miraculously guides me out of the ditch and onto the street... I don't know how he did it, but he saved me from hanging myself. I was that stressed out.

Meanwhile, I'd told Kirsten I'd meet her at my house at 5:30 to load up a piece of furniture she'd left at my house and drive it to her place, and then had an 8:00 dinner date with Daniel. (<3) Ummm but given that it was 5:30 and I was just leaving Westport, um yeah, my plans were a little backed up. Speeding back to Somerville, I began to feel like I was going to pass out behind the wheel, and had to force myself to sing along to crappy radio tunes in order to stay awake. At one point, I even sang all the words to Stayin' Alive at the top of my lungs, complete with falsetto, all over the airplane sounds of my crazy loud moving van. Clearly, it was a dire situation.

An hour and a half later, back at my house, I realize there is no parking anywhere on my street, so I have to double park and Kirsten and I have to run in and grab this furniture thingy and run over the ice with it to get it into the truck while cars are behind us flashing their lights and honking with irritation. Chill, dude! And then the same back at Kirsten's house... no parking, more stress unpacking in the middle of the road. Good god it has been a long day.

At this point, on 3 hours of sleep, sore muscles, and not nearly enough coffee, I'm passing out at the wheel, cursing like a sailor, and fantasizing irrationally about pajamas and bed... mmmm sexy sexy pillows and blankets...

Finally, it's time to return the truck, but first I had to find a gas station that sold diesel fuel in the sleepy town of Stoneham at 8:00pm on a Thursday. Apparently that's a tall order, because I drove through practically the whole damn town (with Kirsten following behind me so she could drive me home, poor thing) passing station after diesel-less station... eventually found one, returned the truck, yadda yadda yadda, and made it to my very belated dinner with Daniel at 9:15.

PHO! Highlight of my day. Oh man. Pho.

As we sat slurping our pho and enjoying our final moments together before I leave, it occurred to me that I had reached new lows of shit-showdom and was more of a delirious and cracked-out mess than ever before. I practically begged Daniel, "please don't remember me this way!!" (He assured me he wouldn't, but I'm not sure I believe him.) Luckily, he accidentally (?) tossed curry rice in the lady's hair next to us, reminding me that I'm not the only crackhead in this story. :-) Best part was she didn't know it was there, and hell if I was gonna tell her!

Now I'm home, and for some reason blogging, when I really need to PTFO (pass the you-know-what out!!) I'm gonna go do that. My legs hurt, I'm running on no sleep, and if I ever see a moving van again, I might have to dropkick someone.

Good night!

Change I can believe in!

EPIC WIN.

Oh, Timing

Why is it that now that I am leaving in less than a month, I have started to make these really great connections with new people? I mean, I have lived in Boston for close to 3.5 years, and spent a good 1 of those years kind of lonely and wondering when I would find "my people." As time went on, friends slowly started trickling into my life bit by bit until I finally felt like I had a great group of close friends. And now that is has reached its peak and I feel happy and complete, and now that even more amazing people keep crossing my path, I am leaving!

You guys need to keep in touch. Seriously. I love my friends in Boston and I am going to miss you so much. And to all you new people in my life-- I hope you stick around. There is plenty of fun to be had when I get back. ;-)