Thursday, January 29, 2009

Moving Day = My Version of Hell

Oh, man, what a day. I think this has to go down in history as one of the worst.days.ever.

Today was moving day. As in, the day that I moved all my junk (and there is a lot-- I'm a total pack rat!) out of my apartment in Somerville, and into my mom's barn in Westport, to store it while I'm gone. Sounds simple enough, right?

GAH! From the very beginning, it was a shit show. First, my mom got sick and couldn't make it to help me move, thus dropping my entourage of merry movers down to just 2 of us-- my step-dad Bill and me. Then he hit some traffic on his way up, and we got a way late start. Meanwhile, last night I was up until 4:00am packing boxes and finishing up, because as we all know, I leave everything to the last minute, and was totally not ready. Then just 3.5 short hours later I woke up, and Kirsten picked me up at 8:00am to drive me to the Ryder rental truck place out in Stoneham. (Dude, don't ask. It was way cheaper than all the closer rental places.) Side note: thank god for Kirsten.

Anyway, I was able to talk the Ryder guys out of giving me a 15 foot truck, and drove away in a sexy, massive cargo van. Those things are even bigger than I thought!! No, seriously, driving one sounds like a freaking airplane. Vrrrmmmm vrrrmmmmm vrrrrroooommmmmmmmm all day long. Headache!!

Enjoy the visual...

Bill finally showed up, and we spent until about 3:00 loading up the van with all my junk... boxes boxes boxes, coffee table, chairs, more boxes, 3 bicycles... we packed it all in, and somehow it magically fit! Just about perfectly. Then we hopped in, at this point a couple hours behind schedule, and drove the 1.5 hour drive to Westport to unload.

Oh man, so we get there and the driveway is a sheet of ice. And it's a looooong farm town driveway, so this is no small thing. I went skidding up this crazy ice rink of a driveway in my massive vehicle, and barely made it to the barn, where Bill and I unloaded all my junk. Ugh, more heavy lifting, just what we needed. But that was nothing compared to when it came time to pull back out of the driveway...

The driveway was so icy that Bill suggested I cut across the field to the neighbor's lane and go out that way. Well, damn! Caught in a snowy ditch! Grrr... wheels spinning, I'm getting frustrated and panicking that I'm going to be trapped in this field all night when I have about 500 million other things to do!! So Bill is hollering for me to back up! now go forward! now stop! now slow! and I'm panicking and freaking out, and picturing a long night of waiting for a tow truck to haul me out of the neighbor's field. The look on my face must have been priceless. Finally Bill grabs the wheel and miraculously guides me out of the ditch and onto the street... I don't know how he did it, but he saved me from hanging myself. I was that stressed out.

Meanwhile, I'd told Kirsten I'd meet her at my house at 5:30 to load up a piece of furniture she'd left at my house and drive it to her place, and then had an 8:00 dinner date with Daniel. (<3) Ummm but given that it was 5:30 and I was just leaving Westport, um yeah, my plans were a little backed up. Speeding back to Somerville, I began to feel like I was going to pass out behind the wheel, and had to force myself to sing along to crappy radio tunes in order to stay awake. At one point, I even sang all the words to Stayin' Alive at the top of my lungs, complete with falsetto, all over the airplane sounds of my crazy loud moving van. Clearly, it was a dire situation.

An hour and a half later, back at my house, I realize there is no parking anywhere on my street, so I have to double park and Kirsten and I have to run in and grab this furniture thingy and run over the ice with it to get it into the truck while cars are behind us flashing their lights and honking with irritation. Chill, dude! And then the same back at Kirsten's house... no parking, more stress unpacking in the middle of the road. Good god it has been a long day.

At this point, on 3 hours of sleep, sore muscles, and not nearly enough coffee, I'm passing out at the wheel, cursing like a sailor, and fantasizing irrationally about pajamas and bed... mmmm sexy sexy pillows and blankets...

Finally, it's time to return the truck, but first I had to find a gas station that sold diesel fuel in the sleepy town of Stoneham at 8:00pm on a Thursday. Apparently that's a tall order, because I drove through practically the whole damn town (with Kirsten following behind me so she could drive me home, poor thing) passing station after diesel-less station... eventually found one, returned the truck, yadda yadda yadda, and made it to my very belated dinner with Daniel at 9:15.

PHO! Highlight of my day. Oh man. Pho.

As we sat slurping our pho and enjoying our final moments together before I leave, it occurred to me that I had reached new lows of shit-showdom and was more of a delirious and cracked-out mess than ever before. I practically begged Daniel, "please don't remember me this way!!" (He assured me he wouldn't, but I'm not sure I believe him.) Luckily, he accidentally (?) tossed curry rice in the lady's hair next to us, reminding me that I'm not the only crackhead in this story. :-) Best part was she didn't know it was there, and hell if I was gonna tell her!

Now I'm home, and for some reason blogging, when I really need to PTFO (pass the you-know-what out!!) I'm gonna go do that. My legs hurt, I'm running on no sleep, and if I ever see a moving van again, I might have to dropkick someone.

Good night!