Goodbye 19 Banks St!

Life is moving so fast right now. Last Wednesday, I posted an ad on Craigslist to sublet my room, and got zillions of responses. Then I put in my notice at work on Friday (my last day is January 16th! ahhh!!). I spent most of the day yesterday showing my apartment to potential subletters (while Kirsten baked cookies in my kitchen!), and then did the same again tonight (minus the cookies). [nom nom nom]

... and now all of a sudden, my room is rented! Just like that! It was so easy, and I'm so disturbingly on top of things.

I know I should be really really happy right now, and on a purely logistical level, I suppose I am. But right now, I'm sitting here, knowing both my job and my apartment have a finite end, and I'm a little bit sad. No more AIDS Action Committee. No more 19 Banks St. They are so much of my life here, and soon they'll be gone.

February 1st. The day that someone else moves in and I am no longer a part of this household. New roommates will come and go, walls will be painted, my landlord will continue to be a flake, and the guy next door will continue to play solitaire naked in his bedroom. And I'll be somewhere in Buenos Aires, doing SOMEthing. It's the "what?" that freaks me out.

Will I be happy? Will I find an apartment that I feel as at home in as this one, with roommates that I love as much as these ones, or more? Will I like my job? Will I even like teaching English, this career path I have chosen, yet haven't even tried yet? Will I be any good at it?

I mean, I know myself, and I know deep down inside that I've done crazier things than this, and this is just the next stop on my crazy life adventure. Hell, I moved to Cuba, where I couldn't communicate with my family almost at all because of that piece-a-shit embargo. I bought a one way ticket to Mexico and disappeared in Central America for 6 months. So I can do this, right?

It feels different because it's so "grown up" (whatever that means). In the past, my travels have always been either somehow connected to school studies or an internship, or they were me just being young and frivolous, with no more plan than to travel, camp, surf, meet people, blow through my money, and have the time of my life.

This time is different. I need to make new friends, find a new apartment, get a job... discover my new favorite divey drinking hole, find my local sex shop... I need to create a whole new life.

*deep breath*

Starting now, I am at the point of no return... I have no job and no house here! So it's official. I HAVE to go. (!!!)