Homework already?!

I'm leaving the country in about 36 hours, and with my mind 100% focused on packing, getting my life in order, and saying good bye, you can imagine my surprise/ horror when I opened my email on SUNDAY AFTERNOON and found a pre-course homework assignment waiting for me-- one that needs to be completed and emailed to my school before class starts on Monday.

And as much as I'd loooove to spend my first weekend in Buenos Aires with my head in a book studying, ummmm hmmmmm yeah, I think I should get this done before I go. THANKS FOR GIVING ME LIKE NO NOTICE, JERKS! Could you not have sent this to me a week ago? Or a month ago?!

So it starts off easy: What is wrong with this sentence? I have seen that film yesterday. Alright, simple enough. Wrong tense.

Now which tense is it? Ummm...??? One simple google search later, and I've discovered they used the present perfect. Okay, good.

Now explain briefly how you would explain the error to a student and how they should correct the usage. Okay, fine. This sucks. Where is my wine?

Now do that 30 times.

Now, still think you're so smart? Try this one on for size! The reader who can tell me what the person is trying to communicate in this sentence wins a one year subscription to my undying affection: My hobby is keeping feet.

HELP! Do they collect feet? Do they like giving pedicures for fun? Is this a really messed up way of saying they are a runner? Am I totally stupid, because I have no clue??

Anyway, welcome to my new world of English as a Second Language. I hope you enjoy the ride.